Being transgender in a Hoosier high school

YORKTOWN — Paxtyn Thompson remembers standing in front of the bathrooms at Yorktown High School, staring at two signs. One for boys, one for girls.

An increasingly controversial problem stared back. Although Thompson was born a girl, he said it never felt right. As a transgender student, deciding which bathroom to use became an anxiety-inducing decision.

Public schools' treatment of transgender students has been a topic of media attention this week, after the federal government released a letter Friday. It said public schools must treat students based on their gender identity, or face losing federal funding. This includes which restrooms or locker rooms the student uses.

The letter doesn't include any new laws or requirements, but says gender identity is included in current Title IX federal protections against sex discrimination.

Local schools aren't jumping to make new policies, yet, and many said they already helped students with these situations on a case-by-case basis. For Thompson that meant using the single-stall men's bathroom at school after talking with administrators.

Staring at the bathroom signs wasn't the first time Thompson, now a junior, felt confused or anxious about his gender. Even before he knew what being transgender was, he would avoid dresses and wore a long T-shirt over the women's swimsuit he had to wear in eighth-grade gym class.

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"I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what," he said. "I remember my first thought that lead me to being who I am was, 'What would it be like being a guy?'

"I thought about it and I looked into it more. It clicked; I found myself comfortable in my identity."

But some of Thompson's friends and family members weren't as comfortable with the realization. A few years ago, Thompson came out. He donated all his feminine clothes and began acting more masculine. He even dropped his middle name, which was his grandmother's name, because it was too feminine.

It all felt better.

Yorktown High School brought in a specialized counselor to work with Thompson and explain the transition to each of his teachers. His small group of friends were supportive — one of his best friends is also transgender — but he's still been called slurs, like "tranny," and been shoulder-checked in the hallway.

The worst thing he's been called is "she."

"My stomach drops," he said. "If it’s someone really close to me, if my mother does it on accident, it hurts, it makes me anxious. It makes me feel like I’m not masculine enough to be myself."

Thompson's father told him not to use the men's restroom because he'd get arrested. They aren't as close since the transition.

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Using a single-stall restroom worked at first. Yorktown is one of a few local schools that has single-stall restrooms. But Thompson wanted to make sure other transgender students didn't have to face those gender signs. He worked with the school to turn the gender-specific, single stalls to be gender-neutral, unisex bathrooms.

Thompson also started the school's first Gay-Straight Alliance, a support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. He said he is continuing to work with the administration to make sure those students feel safe.

"I feel a lot safer at school now than I did at my previous years going," he said. "They’re a lot more OK with it all."

Yorktown Community Schools denied The Star Press' request to come talk to students about the federal government's letter to public schools. Thompson said administrators told him about it Friday, in case he got any backlash. But he didn't.

"It’s not a big issue; the kid's just got to pee," Thompson said. "The fact that the government itself is involved … they shouldn’t have to do that really. It shouldn’t have been an issue."

"I’m just glad now that other nonconforming students at other schools … have the chance to feel safe while using the restroom."

Blackford County Schools also has at least one transgender student. The county is considered to be a conservative area, but most of the dozen or so students The Star Press spoke to weren't concerned about sharing a bathroom with a transgender student.

"Nobody seems to care," freshman Makayla Harrold said. "If that's who you want to be, go for it."

Senior Kyli Penrod said she is worried someone would use being a transgender person as an excuse to get into the women's restroom. Another student said: "I don't really think the women or girls should have their privacy exposed."

Olivia Miner questioned why this is such a controversial topic right now.

"I don't understand the big deal because transgender people have been using bathrooms forever," she said. "You never knew."

No one expected the school to change its policy, but a few said it could help to have a gender-neutral single-stall bathroom.

As for Thompson, he will be starting hormone treatments soon. Having a lower voice and facial hair will help, he said, because looking more masculine will make it easier to walk into a men's restroom. So far, he hasn't run into any problems, even outside of school.

"The thing about using the men's restroom is that no one really looks at each other. Universal 'bro code,' no one talks to each other, no one looks at each other."

Contact families & education reporter Emma Kate Fittes at 765-213-5845 and follow @EmmaKate_TSP.

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